Hello lovely ladies, My name is Tiki and I was a teenage mom too. Everybody has a purpose in life and for many years I didn't understand what mine was. I felt like I failed myself and disappointed my parents by getting pregnant at such a young age. I understand your mixed emotions, I had them too. I was young and pregnant during a time when people looked at you in shame, shook their head at you, asked you questions like "what you doing having a baby and you just a baby yourself". Parents didn't want you around their daughter cause they thought you were "fast" and would somehow rub pregnancy off onto their child too. A teenage mother was expected to be standing in the welfare line, getting food stamps and government cheese and dropping out of school. I remember people around m always trying to give me advice on how to take care of my babies as if my mind was not mature enough for motherly instinct to kick in. There were no support groups or outreach programs, no people to send me messages of motivation everyday, no one to tell me how hard it was going to be, I had to learn.
The most important thing you must remember as you take this journey into motherhood is that, the people around you aren't what's important. What they say about you, how they view you, none of that is important. You must understand that the only important thing in your life is your faith in God and your child. If you look to Him for guidance and allow Him in your life, things that would normally break you will often be a blessing to you. In everything that you do in life you must now consider how your child will learn from it, how your son or daughter will mimic all of your actions. You are now more than just a mother, you are a teacher, a counselor, a nurse, a friend, a hero, a cheerleader, a chef, and a host of other titles that motherhood brings. I'm not saying all of this to scare but to prepare you. Your child's welfare and success lies in your hands and its up to you to make sure that you set the example. So if you are in school, make sure you do all you can to finish, check for online classwork if you don't have daycare and most schools have a daycare system within the school now. Do your research, ask questions because the answer may not be handed to you so you have to go after it.
I often see young mothers today walking around with their children a few steps behind them and they are yelling at them and cussing them out and it makes my heart drop to my stomach. I watch and I wonder if she's mad at herself for missing out on life because she had this child and is she being mean to the baby because of her actions and consequences? Don't be that mother, don't be angry at what choices you made, don't be mad at the walk you are about to take. You are not just a teenage mom, you are not just a girl that had a child out of wedlock, you are not less of a person because of your actions, you are a mother. A mother is a strong and powerful woman who takes on the responsibility of harvesting a life in her womb. You are generous in giving a part of you to assure that your child is nourished, warm, and protected. You selflessly go through the agony and pain of delivering a human being into this world and sharing your unique DNA with them. You are more than just a teenage mother you are a Parent!!
I encourage you to walk boldly in this blessing of bringing a life into the world. Defy the odds and everyday work on doing something that's going to make your child proud of you. Don't focus on pleasing other, focus on pleasing God. Focus on getting your education so that your child will see that you were strong enough not to quit. Focus on providing for you and your child so that your child will learn to never have to depend on anyone and know the value of hard work. Everyday that you wake up, take at least 15 minutes to yourself to just sit in the quiet alone and thank God for the day and His blessings even when you don't feel blessed you are. Speak positive affirmations over you and your child and expect greatness and favor in your life. As you go through each day, no matter how bad things may sometimes get, know that you are blessed and you have been chosen for this task. God does not love you any less, you are still his child and as long as you believe that and love Him back He will provide and protect you. Love yourself and love up on your child and always remember God loved your first and you are truly blessed. Encourage your child to never walk in their own footsteps and always be better than you. You've made mistakes along the way to learn from them and teach them the way to go so they don't have to make the same mistakes too. Never regret anything but use everything as a lesson.
Let's keep in touch,
Your sister in Christ